Chasing Calm
Random lessons in life, love, and transition. — From Los Angeles, California to Stuttgart, Germany — March 2010

When your dog drives you to drink! @#!%&


Damn, I can’t get to sleep now.

On most late nights, I usually stop writing when I begin nodding to sleep at the keyboard. Three or four nods and I know it’s time to power down the laptop and call it a night.

Well tonight, just as I was about to roll into bed, I had to first put my dog P.J. in his room for the night. As I turned around in my swivel chair to get him, to my shock his mouth and paws were covered in blood!

He was rather still, and for a moment I froze. Getting closer, I quickly found out it was not blood after all, he was just taking a break from eating one of my tubes of oil paints – Alizirin Crimson. Fuck!

I still consider myself a rookie dog owner so I don’t know what the hell to do for a few moments. Call some sort of doggie 911? I think the vet is closed. Oh wait, there must be some sort of 24 hour emergency care. The computer fiend I am, I Google an answer. (Leave me alone dammit, I Google e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g).

Okay, so first problem…Is he going to die? Aren’t paints poisonous or toxic or something? And why the hell would ‘paint’ be appetizing to this idiot? Those garlic cheese biscuits at Red Lobster, okay, but paint?? – So, to my surprise there are other stupid curious dogs that eat paint also, and they give me tips like have him drink a lot of water, give him chicken broth, or have him drink a little hydrogen peroxide to make him vomit. I decide on a lot of water and little food so he’ll be more inclined to poop and pee this stuff out of his system. Cleaning up red paint AND vomit is bit much for me at the moment. – He actually seems to be fine wanting to run and play, looking like baby Cujo that just ate the neighbor.

Problem #2…How do I get all this paint off him? Summoning Google once again. I learn to try a little vegetable oil (since its oil paint) and wash it out with some pet shampoo…also, try Dawn dishwashing detergent (You can use Dawn for everything – great product). I opt for the Dawn since I have some available. I get another scare however, when several people online say the paint’s toxins can seep into his skin or something. Ugh, fear returns. I’m told to look up the ingredients to the kind of paint he ate. – Very fortunately, of the selection of paints he decided to have a midnight snack with, Alizirin Crimson is not toxic! Yes! – So, I try to washing it out with only a little success. He was in need of a wash and haircut anyway, so I think that will be the best solution.

Problem #3…How do I get this paint out of my NEW carpets?! Google’s on a roll, so I turn to it again. The first thing I read: “Do not use water to clean oil paints out of carpet…” Too late. “Don’t rub or wipe the stain, rather blot it…” Too late. Instead I’m instructed to use paint thinner or turpentine, which I don’t have right now and have no intention of purchasing at 2:38 in the morning. I look at the same bottle of Dawn detergent and go for it. Not perfect, it’s almost all gone, but not bad at all.

Problem #4…Now I’m wide awake!


One Response to “When your dog drives you to drink! @#!%&”

  1. I love dogs but that sure makes me really appreciate my cats! LMAO!

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