Chasing Calm
Random lessons in life, love, and transition. — From Los Angeles, California to Stuttgart, Germany — March 2010

Welcome To My Cluttered Mind


Wow, I have so much on my mind these days. Things I need to do.  Things I want to do.  Lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed.  Beyond working on the house, I just don’t feel like I’m accomplishing enough on a weekly basis and I find myself getting impatient.

The other night I woke up from a dream where I was in a very long line waiting to get into a smooth jazz concert. My plans were to sit in the sun and relax, and you know, enjoy the infectious rhythms with some cool mixed spirits to sip on. However, the longer I waited in this line,  I began to see everyone who was behind me now moving in front of me and into the concert at the approval of the gate guards. I continued to wait, and wait, and wait…and wait.  When I asked the guards what was going on, it was if I were invisible. The guards  completely ignored me. I went to another long line at another gate entrance. I waited and waited, and the same thing. The next thing I know, the mass crowd is exiting the stadium happy and fulfilled as the concert was now over.

When I woke up I immediately grabbed my “Dictionary of Dreams” to find out what this might have meant. Hell, I was still frustrated!  This is what it read:


A dream in which you are forced to wait for something or someone exaggerates your feelings of impatience. Perhaps you feel unfairly held back at work or in your career and wish you could remove obstacles that stand in the way of your progress. However, this dream may be drawing your attention to the importance of patience or even suggesting that you need to accept a slower approach to your goals.

Hmm…Interesting. I do agree this may be more an issue of practicing patience rather than my normal remedy of prioritizing better. The truth of the matter is there is no hardcore deadlines of time on me at the moment, it is more so my own anxiousness to move on to the next chapter of life.

Okay, so patience. I’ll close my eyes, take three deep breaths, and imagine myself being very calm and p-a-t-i-e-n-t.  That is right after I get half-way through this list!

1.    Missing SS every day.
2.    Working on the house everyday in preparing it to be sold. (I’ll be posting before and after pictures soon)
3.    Working on the general notes and outline for my screenplay.
4.    Brainstorming for travel article ideas.
5.    Working on copywriting projects when they suddenly come up.
6.    Studying my online German class.
7.    Deal with the final financial/legal issues regarding mom’s estate.
8.    Small claims court? Taking the Miko Inn to court?

9.    Thinking about SS and our new life togethe

10.    Research of potential business opportunities between U.S. and Germany.
11.     Practicing calligraphy so I can begin putting my letters and poetry in SS’s book.
12.    Writing my letter to SS’s mom.
13.    Working out at least five days out of seven.
14.    Return some overdue email responses.
15.    Continuing short stories of erotic romance
16.    Get P.J. (my cockapoo) some “real” obedience lessons.
17.    Preparing for final move to Germany (storage, clothes, personal items, etc…)
18.    Keeping my sister motivated and on schedule with her real estate situation as I’m helping her sell her house as well.
19.    Finish downloading music and making CD’s for SS and K to mail.
20.    Taking a break from it all and work on some painting projects.

21.    Oh…missing SS!


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